Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Just a Quick Thought about Johnny Depp...

You can't open any media outlet web page lately without seeing everyone's opinion of Johnny Depp. It's a sad situation on so many levels, but the saddest thing of all seems to be that people in this day and age are GUILTY until proven innocent. And even then, they will have a pox on their reputation for decades. We have seen this scenario play out in the media over and over again.

Spousal abuse is real. It exists. It's not just physical. It can also be mental. It can be sexual. It can be caused by stress, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, mental disorders, or a combination of all of the above. It affects women. It affects men. Worst of all, it affects children. It is never a subject to be taken lightly or casually and speaking as someone who has been in an abusive relationship, it's almost impossible to make anyone understand the complexity of it unless they have been there themselves.

I normally don't have an opinion on celebrity gossip more than just a passing comment or two. I used to love celebrity lifestyle gossiping and I bought all the supermarket tabloids and devoured them every month. It was like that scene in Sex and the City where Miranda's mail finally comes to her new home and she gets her gossip magazine. "It's my thing, leave me alone" she says. This was me, and I TOTALLY got that scene.

However, in recent years it's been less and less fun to watch these folks like zoo animals in their habitats. Maybe it's because I am 37 and have lived too many lives myself to really care anymore about what people who never had to struggle financially are doing. Maybe it's because that world has become saturated with reality TV and you no longer have to speculate about details while reading a magazine with limited information because its all blazing in front of your face on TV every day. Something happened and I lost my love for celeb-life gazing.

But I am still a film nut.

I have favorite actors, directors, cinematographers. I make my husband watch movies so I have someone to talk to about the colors, the imagery, the way the light hits a character's face in a certain scene. My husband would prefer to watch movies with comic book characters in them, but I am sitting him down and forcing him to watch Pans Labyrinth and Rosemary's Baby. Being that this is still close to my heart, I find myself still occasionally interested in what some of these people are up to. Johnny Depp is one of those people.

When I saw the story break about his pending divorce, I read the stories with a casual interest. I knew he had not been married this time too long, and there always seemed to be something going on. The first report I read had a statement from his legal team that he would not be granting spousal support (alimony) to this woman. Well, ok. Something must be going on. An ugly divorce. Cheating? Who knows. I am a divorcee myself and I have been through the legal system. I live in New Jersey though and our laws are probably different than those of wherever they live. (I am pretty certain it's not NJ...)

Suddenly, a few days later, the media EXPLODED with images of a bruised face and accusations of abuse. I would imagine I am not the only person who thought..."Well, that's a funny coincidence, isn't it?" What I mean is...she was denied alimony a few days ago. Now she is screaming abuse. It doesn't mean it didn't happen. It just means it's strange.

As I said above, I have been in an abusive relationship. I have been included on a restraining order (different situations) and I have been through a divorce. I am not speaking from a place of complete ignorance when I say that to me, this is a bit fishy. I would not think this at all if not for the sequence of events. I also know though that if you were not there, you just don't know. I try hard not to speculate on things because of this, and when I do, I have no problem at all admitting that I am wrong - should that be the case.

What bothered me about this whole situation was the fact that most of the media has already convicted Johnny Depp. The pitchforks and the torches are out and they are ready to chase him from the castle and into the woods where he belongs. There are witness testimonies, there are lawyers, there will be a judge. There needs to be proof to convict, and we don't know if that exists. I am finding it hard not to do the opposite of what the media is doing and declare him innocent, despite that being my instinct about the whole situation, because I feel it's unfortunate that any situation should ever come to this.  Nine times out of ten, I side with the woman in these that right or wrong. This just doesn't feel right though.

What do you think?

Does the media jump too soon to convict?

Do we help that along by making up our own decision?

We won't know the outcome for some time on this case. It's terrible and unfortunate for all involved. I hope that both of these people can find peace in their hearts and their minds.

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